Am I a runner?

This is something I’ve been asking myself the last few weeks. I don’t mean the type of runner of run/walker vs runner or jogger vs. runner but I mean am I really a runner?

6 years ago when I started running it was to try to do something active but it was also with a friend of mine. When she stopped after our first race I decided I needed to find new running friends. That I was able to find online through a great group called Running of the Ears. There I met not only some of the most wonderful people but also made what I would consider some lifelong friends. I mean they even came to our wedding only a year after knowing us. I remember having a conversation with Jon about asking Bob to be in the wedding and him saying, “I dunno,  I don’t really know him and I’m not sure if he wants to really be friends” Well, 5 years later and their bromance is stronger than ever.

loopers

I met some of the best women I could have met and can happily say that not all of our activities revolve around running. Hell, I’m even spending Thanksgiving with half of them because they have become our adopted family here in Florida. We’ve done running trips and now have solid friendships with people not even near by (thank you internet)

Photo0705FourBySix

I say all of this because now that I am running without these people the drive is gone. So, I sit here contemplating if I enjoyed running to run or if I enjoyed running because of the people. On the eve of my 16 miler, my first long run without my running partner, I wonder if I would have signed up for these races if I had realized that it wouldn’t be any fun to run alone.

One of my  goals over the next 2 months (until the marathon) is to find out if I actually love running or if I just did it for the social aspects. I don’t mean meeting up with people in a group and then setting off on our own. I actually find that to be more depressing. “Hey everyone welcome, enjoy running by yourself”. But do I really enjoy the lacing up and heading out. Would I miss it if I didn’t do it. I really don’t know the answer and that’s what I want to figure out. Do I still enjoy racing or would I prefer to find an activity that kept me fit enough to still run sometimes. Do I like to just run to just run with no goal in mind?

Ever had the same feeling?

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8 thoughts on “Am I a runner?

  1. fitballingrunningmom says:

    Great question!

    I started running with a group and it was perfect motivation and accountability-but then I outgrew them. I realized I still wanted to run and so I became a lone/solo runner for the most part. I found a running partner in another group and she and I usually run long runs together but if she is not available-i am out on my own.

    I do like to run-great way to clear the mind and get a break from the noise of a house full of kids and hubby-lol!

    I hope you have a great long run-you got this!

  2. Brittany says:

    Maybe you’re a little burnt out from training, too? I go through phases where I’m absolutely in love with running and then others where I think I could totally remove it from my life. After getting so used to running with people, then having to do it on your own, along with hard training — maybe you just need a week away of doing other things to rekindle a little fire!

  3. acbrandt says:

    I’ve definitely had thoughts like this. When it comes to me, I love racing and the atmosphere and the energy. I don’t like training every weekend and during the week. I’m still deciding which one is going to win out, and I hope you find peace with your decision!

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